What is Perfectionism & 6 Ways to Manage
Perfectionism is a trait that is often seen as a desirable quality in individuals. It is the idea of striving for excellence in everything we do, setting high standards, and working tirelessly to achieve them. While it may seem positive, perfectionism can often adversely affect our mental health and well-being. In this blog post, we will explore perfectionism, its personality traits, how it develops, and what renowned researcher Brene Brown has to say about it.
What is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by a person striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high standards for themselves and others. It involves setting impossibly high standards and being highly critical of oneself and others when those standards are unmet. Perfectionists tend to be highly detail-oriented, driven by a strong desire for achievement and success, and seeking external validation for their accomplishments. However, perfectionism can also lead to stress, anxiety, and even depression as individuals become overwhelmed by the fear of failure and may procrastinate or avoid tasks altogether.
Perfectionist Personality Traits
Perfectionism is a complex personality trait characterized by distinct personality traits that differentiate perfectionists from others. These traits can be positive and negative and affect different areas of a perfectionist's life. Here are some of the key personality traits associated with perfectionism:
Conscientiousness:
Perfectionists tend to be highly conscientious, meaning they are very organized and responsible. They are driven to achieve their goals and are often seen as reliable and dependable.
Detail-oriented:
Perfectionists tend to focus on the details and may become overwhelmed by the fear of making mistakes. They are often highly critical of themselves and others when things don't go according to plan.
Self-disciplined:
Perfectionists are known for their discipline and self-control. They are often very good at setting and achieving goals and can be very determined when they set their minds to something.
High-achieving:
A strong desire for achievement and success often drives perfectionists. They set high standards for themselves and strive to reach them, often pushing themselves to the limit to achieve their goals.
Highly critical:
Perfectionists can be very critical of themselves and others. They tend to be perfectionistic and may focus on the negatives instead of the positives.
Fear of failure:
Perfectionists often fear failure and may become very anxious or stressed when they feel like they are not meeting their high standards.
Procrastination:
Perfectionists may procrastinate or avoid tasks altogether because they fear being unable to do them perfectly. This can lead to a cycle of stress and anxiety as they become increasingly overwhelmed by the tasks they must complete.
Inflexible:
Perfectionists can be very inflexible in their thinking and may have difficulty adjusting to change or uncertainty. They may become very anxious or stressed when things don't go according to plan.
Risk-averse:
Perfectionists may be very risk-averse, avoiding situations where they might fail or be criticized. This can limit their growth and development, as they may miss meaningful opportunities because of their fear of failure.
Overly demanding:
Perfectionists can be very demanding of themselves and others, setting impossibly high standards and becoming easily frustrated or disappointed when these standards are unmet. This can lead to feelings of stress and anxiety, as well as conflict in their relationships with others.
Perfectionism is a complex personality trait characterized by distinct personality traits. While some of these traits can be positive, they can also lead to negative consequences if not appropriately managed. By understanding these traits, we can better understand perfectionism and its impact on our lives.
How does perfectionism develop?
Perfectionism can develop differently, often resulting from genetic, environmental, and personal factors. Here are some of the most common factors that can contribute to the development of perfectionism:
Genetics:
Research has shown that perfectionism may have a genetic component, meaning some people may be predisposed to developing this personality trait.
Environmental factors:
Growing up in an environment where there is a lot of pressure to achieve can contribute to the development of perfectionism. For example, parents who are highly critical or demanding of their children may unintentionally encourage perfectionistic tendencies.
Childhood experiences:
Traumatic or stressful experiences in childhood, such as abuse, neglect, or bullying, can lead to the development of perfectionism as a coping mechanism. Children may develop the belief that they can control their environment by being perfect, which can carry over into adulthood.
Cultural influences:
Some cultures value achievement and success, which can contribute to perfectionism development. For example, academic or professional success may be considered the key to happiness or social status in certain cultures.
Personal factors:
Finally, personal factors such as temperament, personality, and life experiences can all contribute to the development of perfectionism. Some people may be more prone to perfectionistic tendencies due to their personality traits or life experiences, such as a history of anxiety or depression.
It is important to note that perfectionism is not always a negative trait. It can be a driving force for achievement and success in some individuals. However, when perfectionism becomes excessive or harmful, it can lead to negative consequences such as stress, anxiety, and mental health issues.
The development of perfectionism is a complex process involving genetic, environmental, and personal factors. Understanding these factors can help us identify and address the underlying causes of perfectionism and develop healthier ways of coping with stress and anxiety. We can lead happier, more fulfilling lives by cultivating self-awareness and learning to embrace imperfection.
What does Brene Brown say about perfectionism?
Brene Brown is a renowned researcher and author who has spent years studying the effects of shame, vulnerability, and authenticity on human behavior. In her book The Gifts of Imperfection, Brown argues that perfectionism is not desirable but self-destructive behavior that can lead to shame and inadequacy. She suggests that perfectionism is a defense mechanism to protect ourselves from the pain of failure, rejection, or disappointment.
Brown identifies two different types of perfectionism: adaptive and maladaptive. Adaptive perfectionism is characterized by a healthy striving for excellence and a willingness to learn from mistakes. This type of perfectionism can be beneficial, as it allows individuals to set goals and work hard to achieve them without becoming overly critical or self-critical. On the other hand, maladaptive perfectionism is characterized by a rigid need for control, a fear of failure, and a focus on avoiding mistakes rather than achieving success. This type of perfectionism can be harmful, leading to a constant feeling of inadequacy, and may even prevent individuals from taking risks or pursuing their goals.
Brown suggests that the key to overcoming maladaptive perfectionism is cultivating self-compassion and embracing vulnerability. Rather than striving for perfection, we should aim to be authentic to ourselves. This means recognizing our flaws and imperfections and learning to accept them as part of our identity. It also means embracing vulnerability, taking risks, and putting ourselves out there even if we fear failure or rejection.
Six Ways to Manage Perfectionism
Managing perfectionism can be challenging, but it is possible with the right strategies and mindset. Here are some tips for managing perfectionism:
Practice self-awareness:
The first step in managing perfectionism is to become more aware of your thoughts and behaviors. Pay attention to how perfectionism affects your life, and try to identify the underlying beliefs and fears driving your perfectionistic tendencies.
Challenge your perfectionistic thoughts:
Once you have identified them, try to challenge them by asking yourself whether they are based in reality or irrational. For example, if you think, "I must do everything perfectly, or I'm a failure," ask yourself whether this belief is accurate.
Set realistic goals:
One way to manage perfectionism is to set realistic goals that are achievable and meaningful. Instead of striving for perfection, focus on progress and improvement.
Embrace imperfection:
Learning to embrace imperfection can be a powerful tool in managing perfectionism. Recognize that mistakes and failures are a natural part of the learning process and can provide valuable opportunities for growth and development.
Practice self-compassion:
Being kind and compassionate toward yourself is essential to managing perfectionism. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a good friend, and recognize that perfection is not a realistic or attainable goal.
Seek support:
Finally, seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can be a valuable tool in managing perfectionism. Talking to others about your struggles can help you gain perspective and develop healthier coping strategies.
It is important to remember that managing perfectionism is a process that takes time and effort to develop new habits and ways of thinking. However, by practicing self-awareness, challenging your perfectionistic thoughts, setting realistic goals, embracing imperfection, practicing self-compassion, and seeking support, you can learn to manage your perfectionism healthily and productively.